


Guilty Goodbye (a Larry one shot)

by IsaSophieRing



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt, One Shot, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaSophieRing/pseuds/IsaSophieRing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Harry is alone, hurt and confused. He turns to the only one he can think of as he says his last goodbyes. WARNING ANGST, SUICIDE AND HURT!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilty Goodbye (a Larry one shot)

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST ANY RELIGION WHATSOEVER, THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE TOWARDS THE DEITY “GOD” AND IF ANYONE FEELS OFFENDED I AM VERY SORRY! XO ISA

Dear God

Is it wrong to love him?

What we’ve done is. 

disgusting

filthy

wrong

I can’t believe it. It has to be a joke. We would never. God, why can’t I hate him for our sins? We should be punished, dragged down to hell and be tortured for all eternity. So, why can’t I find myself to hate him? Despite all we’ve done, why? We deserve it more than anyone. 

I can’t be selfish, I have to meet my fate, I have to pay the price for what we’ve done. He even said he didn’t feel any remorse for, it. He just smiled and said that it was all good, that it’s not wrong, that its beautiful. Can I trust his words? God, please forgive me for what I’m about to do, for I don’t know any better. He doesn’t understand remorse. So why can’t I stop loving him, why? Is this some kind of trial, from you? Have I not prayed enough or believed enough in you? Is this my punishment for loving him? 

“Lev. 20:13 - If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them”  
Lev. 18:22 - "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

He knows this, and yet. He. I’m not any better, I love him, not like a brother, but as a man should feel towards a woman. I want to look into his eyes, blue as the sky itself, and shower him in my love for him, I want to be able to hold his hand, to kiss him, to touch him, to scream his name as we make love. I want HIM.  
Please God, forgive me for my filthy thoughts and my unchristian desires, but I have been offered the forbidden fruit. I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t resist. I tried, but in vain. Others do not see what I see, I have eaten the fruit, my eyes have been opened for the first time in my life. It feels as if I’ve been blinded by my faith towards you. Those who have not tasted the forbidden fruit does not know it’s knowledge, it’s truth. He is my forbidden fruit and even if I go against your will, God. I will not regret it for a second. I know what I’m doing is right. So, if you must punish me for my sins, go right ahead, at least I didn’t deny myself. I’ll get to live with the person I love. 

______________________________________________________________

Dear God

He didn’t make it.  
Our love did not make it.  
It’s all my fault, I pressured him into this. He loved me and I loved him, but he couldn’t live with the whole world watching our every move. Every time we held hands everyone shouted at us, sometimes even hurt us. He couldn’t hold himself together. It feels as if it’s my fault. If I’d loved him more, if I hadn’t made us, our love, public, no one would have known. It would have been our little secret. Our quiet promise of love against the world. But, instead I only brought him pain. I do not blame him for deciding to shorten his time, here on earth. Hell, probably isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. It can’t be worse than this.  
Did our love harm anyone God? It didn’t feel disgusting, It didn’t feel filthy and It didn’t feel wrong. I know I didn’t do wrong in loving Lou, I will never regret it. Even if you tear off my skin, gooch out my eyes, dismember me limb by limb or rip out my heart, I will NEVER regret loving the man that left this living hell on earth without me. I will gladly join him.  
So, I hope you saved a spot for me down there, because. I’m going to join him in the misery and hurt that hell gladly provides. Call me crazy, but I won’t leave him alone down there for another day.

Look on the bright side God.  
I’ll get to be with him every single day for the rest of time, even if it’s in hell.  
It’s going to be worth it, just to be by his side once again.  
Amen.

by: IsaSophieRing


End file.
